Dreaming of verbs.

I am wary of nouns of identity—the ones preceded by forms of to be.

I am a teacher. I am a writer. I am knitter. I am a dyer. I am a spinner. I am a blogger. I am a designer. I am a photographer. I am a creator.

Those feel like lies. Like they require membership cards that I am too uncertain to carry.

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The Rainbow Rhombus Wrap continues to grow slowly, here while I wait for an oil change.

I much prefer verbs and this sentence structure:

I teach. I write. I knit. I dye. I spin. I blog. I design. I photograph. I create.

The actions are undeniable. The verb doesn’t have to be followed by an kind of adverb like well or professionally. They are just facts, objective.

But the nouns? Entirely subjective. I mean, have I passed the certification exam for those titles?

Do I care to?

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Some of the tiny wild strawberries that dot our yard like miniature Easter eggs that reveal themselves only once you start looking for them, and then, their cheerfulness can be seen everywhere underfoot.

Being is another thing I do.

My being isn’t determined by my writing—just like my writing isn’t determined by my knitting.

So I’m weird about labels. I recently started adding #indiedyer to some of my Instagram posts, but every time, I feel a little uneasy about it.

I know some would say that this is an insecurity, like I think I’m not good enough to own certain titles.

Maybe.

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Delicious rolls of yarn, ready for dyeing.

But I think it’s more of a rejection of the idea that I should be “secure” in those titles at all.

Titles, labels, categories, genres. They limit. They point to a set of expectations and parameters.

I am not anti-boundaries, but I think that’s something different.

If I call myself a writer but don’t write for a while, would that change who I am? Would it  mean I’m not doing what I should? Should I, then, feel like a failure because I am take a short—or long—break from doing what that label implies I should do?

I think the answer to all of those is no.

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My most recent dyeing experiment, the results of which are simply this: LOL.

So these days, I’m not doing much writing, though I am doing more now that this blog is moving and shaking a little.

No, these days, I do a lot of other things, and one of them is dream.

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5 thoughts on “Dreaming of verbs.

    • I do ponder, quite a lot! Thanks for taking the time to read these ponderings. I hope y’all are living it up big at NH! Send my love!

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  1. I have never really thought about the English language like that. You know, we often describe ourselves in passive voice, but you’re right in that when we describe ourselves by nouns, it sort of sanitizes what we actually do. I like your idea of identifying yourself by active voice, in verbs, when you are the subject. To adapt your hashtag, think of “I dye independently.”. You are the subject, you dye yarn, and you do it independently (that being the the adverb, or how you dye).

    This is bringing back so many memories of high school English classes where I had to write essays and Microsoft Word would keep bringing up that blasted green underline because I kept using passive voice over and over in my writing. :-\

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    • Oh, I LOVE to analyze language. I like your characterizing it as “sanitizing” what we do. You’re right; I COULD adapt the hashtag. My main concern there is that it wouldn’t help “advertise” my work because people use the tags to find things they like. The #indiedyer tag is well known and used widely, so using it connects me with lots of others who dye—and people who want to see and maybe buy the dyed goods. BUT maybe I could use both tags, and who knows, maybe the action verb tag will go viral! 🙂 Sorry for inducing uncomfortable memories! Grammar is my jam—among many jams!

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      • Not so much uncomfortable as it was annoying. And it was always Microsoft Word bringing it up, never the teachers! I’m not a major grammar nerd, but I have an old workbook around here somewhere that I probably could use to improve my grammar and mechanics.

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